i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
