I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
