No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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