***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
