And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
