i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
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