So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
