hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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