If that was your dad, he is hot
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
