He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
