Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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