Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
