Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
