I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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