Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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