I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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