She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
