I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Randomize