you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
