It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
