I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Alive.
So much puke
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
