she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
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