with your own penis?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Randomize
