Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I think I died a long time ago.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.