I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Randomize
