3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Randomize
