How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize