help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
