wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
