Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Less talking, more tequila
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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