I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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