yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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