yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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