I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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