Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
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