I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
