I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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