I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize