its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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