Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
