I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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