Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
