I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
