i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Randomize
