all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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