Is it normal to miss your booty call?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
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I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
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Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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