And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
two words...techno handjob
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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