I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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