True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
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