You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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