You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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