I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Verdict: uncircumcised.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
