I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
