did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
