You made eat vitamins until I threw up
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I know her cup size but not her name....
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