if you like me you must not know who I am
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
