Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
