If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
