I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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