It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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