Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
