I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
