Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize
