Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
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you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
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My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize