look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Randomize
