the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
