she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
