i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
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I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
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Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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